Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Rambling



       So it has been forever and a day since I have written a blog post. I am sorry that I am such a freaking slacker! Honestly, I wouldn't even be writing this if I wasn't so mentally blocked for my academic/creative writing. I am hoping that just by rambling about something-- anything, I will find my narrative voice again. We shall see. . .

    Well, what shall I write about? Well, as many of you know, I will be graduating next month. I am very excited to be done with school (at least for now) but on the other hand, I feel like I am leaving with absolutely no skills in my pocket. I began looking for job a few weeks ago and everything either requires a degree in a field that I never studied in, a focus in the field I did study in but not my particular focus and/or two+ years experience in the field. Well, crap! I had one fall back option but thanks to budget cuts and schedule changes, my future in ASL translation is still far, far away. I honestly do  not know what I am going to do; therefore, leaving school is only bittersweet at best.

  On the upside however, I may not be able to get a job in writing but all my childcare and special needs experience will still allow me to find some employment. I just hope that through internships or possible future connections, I may actually be able to write for a living. Also on the upside, the little boy I watch is in speech therapy and his therapist has said numerous times she would hire me as an assistant. I have no idea how much she would be willing to pay and her office is over an hour away so there are downsides; but if she pays enough, I would make the drive. I can also stay working with the family I am currently with until I find a better job. Honestly, they wish I would never leave but I just can't do child care forever-- it's just not where my heart is.

   So, other news, information, current events in my life? Well, there really hasn't been much going on since the last time I wrote on here. Yeah, Kris and I have went to various places: friend's weddings, Tahoe, various hiking and camping trips. I started volunteering at the California School for the Deaf, but I am still floundering as far as comprehension of the language. Mostly, I have just been doing school work and work-work with very little time for sleep in between. I am mentally drained and I think that is perhaps why I haven't written in so long. All my mental energy is being put towards these final weeks.

  Ultimately, as I come to the end of this chapter in my life, I just hope that certain things will get easier for me. I really just want to not struggle as much with my finances. I know everyone wants extra cash but I really just don't want to have to borrow from people anymore or panic that some bill is getting neglected. I have always been frugal so extra money for things I want doesn't concern me. I would just like to keep more than ten dollars in my savings account for a decent period of time. I would like the idea of moving out (again) to be an actual and near possibility. I would like to go to sleep knowing that everything is paid off for once. I suppose I just want peace of mind and I hate that money is the only way I will get it. That is the world we live in though. Even those of us who hate money are still controlled by it. Its not fair, but that's just how it is.

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